I did it

Yesterday I went to church nervous as could be but it had to be done for ME!!! Well, nobody thought to tell me that the service would knock me right upside the head. I couldn't believe it. I have been to other churchs in my lifetime to be honest my uncle is a babtist preacher and I can honestly say I have NEVER seen anyone have a connection with God to know his congregation as I see with Pastor Aaron. It is just amazing, during his prayer's he seemed to always be talking about me, I have to admit I peaked when he told us to close our eyes and bow our heads while he prayed and if we needed "fixed" raise our hands. I was doing as he asked but I notice he kept saying this so I looked around to see if no one was doing this or what. Well, some were but I had this voice that said "do it we won't bite" So I did and the pastor stopped asking for this. WOW

At the end of the prayer he said anyone that raised their hands to meet him on the left of the church. Normally I would have left and not done this but again that voice was there "Go we won't bite" I was actually the first one up there Pastor Aaron later said something that seemed very odd to me. He said that he knew that I have been struggling with this for some time. That seemed odd to me because I honestly believed that I wasn't struggling with "God" and my belief but with my life in general, what has happened to me, my marriage and my husband not wanting to go to church with me or our marriage not seeming like a marriage, my illness and how to accept it and not make it a label thing.

I am going to be honest I am going to take a break from writing this I keep my mind on track anymore